Travelling Man

I actually wrote this entry before the last one, but couldn't let it be the 100th post.

I'm on my third plane in a week now, and many things came back to me quickly. I forgot how much I dislike the actual act of traveling, especially for work. When I was flying to New Hampshire, We pushed back from the gate and immediately went into the penalty box to wait. We were on a hold because there were too many aircraft that needed to taxi and not enough room to put them all and still handle the inbound aircraft taxiing to their gates. So we waited until we could get a number to take off. 35 minutes later, the captain comes on and tells us that we are going to start our taxi, but it would still be a while before we were airborne as we were number 46 for departure. That's 45 aircraft in front of us. If everything goes perfect, it's 90 seconds per departure. Four thousand fifty seconds. Sixty-seven and a half minutes more before we're even in the air. Once we did get airborne they managed to cut about 15-20 minutes out of the route, So it was for 33 minutes. I honestly could have driver to New Hampshire faster than the whole process took.

Flying home was fairly innocuous other than the fact the flight was at 6:50 in the morning. I'm definitely now what anyone would consider a morning person. I was going through security and emptied everything I normally do. I've even been broken down to the point where I take off my shoes if they're not sandals (I still refuse to walk through barefoot). I walk through the metal detector and the person tells me to empty my pockets fully. I didn't set it off. I have NOTHING metal in my pockets. All that is left in my pocket is my wallet. I NEVER put my wallet through the X-Ray because I don't want to leave it unattended. I tell him it's just my wallet and he says he doesn't care it has to go through. I say fine and go through his little game. I go through, again don't set off the metal detector, but I'm sent for additional screening. Now you are told to always face your belongings during this. While I was being hand wanded and patted down, I'm told to turn around so they can do the other side. I say I need to keep an eye on my belongings. He said "we're watching them, you need to turn around sir." Against my better judgement (and knowing the next flight is a few hours away) I turn around. I go through all of this and guess what, they find nothing. I was wearing lacrosse shorts and a T-shirt. Not much place to hide anything. I go and collect all my items and go on my merry way. I went out to dinner and my debit card was declined. I thought that was odd, put it on a different card and planned on calling my bank when i got home to see what was going on. Literally as I'm walking in to my apartment, my bank calls me asking me to verify some recent transactions. I"m able to verify all but one that was to an on-line bookstore. They immediately cancelled the card and are sending me a new card. I'm sure it's just a coincidence, but I can't help but think that someone grabbed the number while my wallet was sitting on the belt.

Now we come to today. There were storms in and around the Newark area. Arrivals were delayed an average of 1 hour. Being the professional traveller that I am, I looked ahead of time and saw that the aircraft making up my flight was delayed on it's inbound flight. I still get to the airport about when I normally do, about an hour before departure. I get to the gate 45 minutes before departure and my flight is listed as on time, but there is no aircraft at the gate. It shows up about 30 minutes to departure and needs to be deplaned, catered and cleaned. about 10 minutes before the scheduled departure, the gate agent comes on and says that the plane hasn't been cleaned yet, that as soon as they get a cleaning crew there, they'd go ahead and board us, and that our departure time was moved back 15 minutes. They board first class, and the cleaners are still finishing up in coach, and then exit the aircraft. The official reason for our late departure? "Waiting for connecting passengers" Now that may have been true, but there were no breaks in the boarding process, and as soon as the last person was on the plane, they immediately shut the door so we could push back and wait to taxi because of the storms.

Honesty is such a lonely word.

Billy Joel was right. I've found that when I have been honest about things with people, they end up shutting me out.

I can be brutally honest sometimes. Usually I don't have a problem with it, especially if I feel it's for someone's own good. Two instances come to mind instantly. The first was with my friend K. She went off to college and met a guy and they dated. They of course were in love, and knew what they wanted. He proposed to her. She said yes. She called my all giddy to tell me the news, and I was that guy. The blunt tell you how it is guy. My response to her was "Congratulations, but it's not like you're going to marry him." There was dead silence on the phone. I really don't remember the rest of the conversation. I admit it. It was an asshole thing to say, but it needed to be done. She and I kept in touch, and about a year or so later, she called me to tell me that they'd broken off the engagement. See, I knew her. I knew that he wasn't the one for her. It wasn't that I had a problem with him, I just knew. I can't explain that one any better than that.

Next example involves AB. AB was a friend in college. She was attractive, athletic looking and liked to be one of the guys. It was odd to ever see her dressed up. AB and I were very friendly, and like so many others, despite everyones thinking, nothing had ever happened between us. With hindsight being 20/20 there were definitely moments where something should have happened. AB was dating a guy who was younger that the rest of us and very much immature at times. Not that any of us were the role model for maturity, but I think you get the picture. I liked the guy and got along great with him. I thought that he was good for her. It was good to see her happy. She went away to a program for a semester and I started seeing him around campus with other girls. I'm fully aware that a guy and a girl can be friends with nothing happening. I think I wrote the book on that, but I could see that's not what was going on. People started to see him out with other girls, hooking up with other girls, etc. Being a friend of AB, I told her point blank he was cheating on her. She said no way, he'd never do that and walked away. She and I stopped talking after that. Mutual friends, who saw what I saw and knew what I knew were asking how could I do that to her, how could I tell her. I was confused at that point. How could they not tell her. They were her friends, and here they were allowing her to be played like a fool. They broke up a few years later because they wanted different things in their life. A few years after that, I got an email from her with the subject "Thank You". In it , she explained that she ran into him at a bar over Thanksgiving and that he admitted to her that he had been cheating on her, and specifically during the time when I had said something to her. She went on to say that she should have listened to me and she was glad that I was able to tell her the truth. I responded something along the lines of "you live and learn". She and I still have almost no contact to this day. Oh well.

I've become more afraid to be brutally honest, because you never know how the person will react. Especially if it's someone I'm close to. Personally, I know I'd want and I trust my friends to be honest with me. I mean when you think about some of my minor obsessions (D comes to mind) no one ever really slapped me into reality. Sometimes I wonder if we are better off living in this fantasy life.

Have you ever sat there and thought about it? Do you like it when people are honest with you, or do you prefer it when they tell you what you want to hear?

This is post number 100 for me as well. I think I deserve a drink.

Weightloss and Drinking

Over the past 3 weeks, I've consumed more alcohol than I had been. I've been out for happy hour a couple of times a week. I've enjoyed wine at home more often and guess what. I've lost more weight in the past 3 weeks that I had in the previous 2 months. I don't know if I've been over all more active, if I've been better about going to the gym or what.

The surprising thing is that I'm feeling much better as well. I'm not necessarily sleeping better, but overall, I feel better about myself and find I'm carrying myself differently now.

Awkward to say the least

Before reading, you'll want to sit down. I'd say get a beverage as well, but if you know any of the details, you might end up doing a spittake.

As any faithful reader knows, I caved 2 weeks ago and joined Facebook. In those 2 weeks, I've amassed well over 100 friends on there and have reconnected with a lot of old friends from high school and college. Facebook has taken more time out of my day, but since I'm currently un-employed (by choice) I do have a lot of free time on my hands.

I've accepted just about every friend request on Facebook. Even the one from the friend from college who married my girlfriend who was from home. Yes they met through me. I'm fairly confident that she cheated on me with him. I also accepted the friend request from the friend from college who married the girl that I was only slightly obsessed with. In fact, they're both mentioned in this previous post.

It has been very interesting to see who knows who on Facebook. A friend of mine from College was friends with a girl I knew through my friend Kristen. That freaked me out a bit. As it turns out they both worked for the same television network for a while in politics.

Now, some background. After high school, I met S who was 2 years older than I, but had gone to the same high school. She was very nice, attractive, and we seemed to hit it off. We dated for a year anda half or 2 years and had a good time. I was away at college most of the time, and she was at home. During that period of time, I became friends with F. F was generally known as a womanizer and really only had the requirement of a heartbeat in order to be interested in a girl. My best friend K was looking for someone one summer, and she didn't have the most discriminating tastes, so I set her up with F. I should mention that K and S knew each other from high school and pretty much hated each other. On their third date, F told K that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I think it was all she could do not to laugh. F was 2 years older, and took a job in North Carolina after college.

While away at college, I became very friendly with a girl D. She was amazing. Beautiful, smart, assertive, and very unassuming. She and I would talk for hours about anything and everything. During this time, S and I were growing further and further apart. This may sound like a line, but she wasn't intellectually stimulating me. D was able to do that. During this time, NOTHING ever happened between D and I other than me giving her a head rub while watching TV at her house once. I was very adamant that I didn't want to cheat on S. I also thought that it would be rude to break up with S on the phone.

I had a plan. Thanksgiving was coming, and I was going home. I'd break up in person with S, and that would open the door for things to happen with D, and I'd have a clear conscience. To give you an idea of where D and I were - we had already named our children. SO, I go home, and break up with S. It was one of the most awful things I've done, but it was needed. As luck would have it, D was giving me a ride back to college after break. I go up to her house, and sense that something isn't quite right. She wasn't behaving like herself.

The ride back to college was about 3 1/2 hours. During that 3 1/2 hours, we barely spoke. We were able to speak for hours just a few days before and now nothing. I remember vividly as we were driving, the CD was ejected, and there was blaring static on the radio. She then went and explained that her father wasn't happy that she was spending all this time with a boy (me) and the he said she needed to concentrate on her studies and finding a job, and that she didn't have time for me.

That really hurt. I had broken up with S, which was needed, but was now alone. I was still mesmerized by D however. I thought that it was stupid for her father to say that, and even dumber for her to follow that advice since there was obviously something between us. There was always rumor that D was a lesbian, but I knew that wasn't true. That was mainly circulated by a guy we'll call V. I honored D's request and stopped talking to her. We'd see each other occasionally in the hallway and there was tension there. Being the mid 90's (1995 I think), I did what anyone would do. I sent her an email telling her how I felt about her and that it wasn't that easy for me to just let go.

I learned a VERY valuable lesson that day. E-mail can be very impersonal and can be very easily misconstrued. Inflections, connotations, etc are all interpreted by the reader, if at all. I got a VERY curt email back from her "If you have something to say to me, say it in person" and with that, our love-hate relationship began. I'm not good at being hated. I've always tried to get everyone to like me. D and I had reason to interact for Extra-curricular activities, (get your minds out of the gutter) and it was awkward at best. We'd be sitting at a round table, and she had a co-worker with her, and we'd end up talking to him, and not to each other across the table.

With time, things started to soften. On Valentines Day, I thought that I'd make a peace offering and give her a dozen white roses. Everyone I knew (including her roommates who liked me) thought this would be a good idea. As it turns out, it pissed her off a little because I gave them to her in front of a friend of mine who she had turned her interests to (I guess dad's talk had worn off).

Eventually, she saw what I was trying to do, and we became friendly again. At this point I knew that I wasn't returning to college (she was a senior) and I became an unofficial senior if you would. During the last week, there is a tradition of getting drunk and jumping in the fountains. She partook, (as did the friend of mine who she turned her interests to) and everyone was having a great time. We were walking away, and one of her roommates made the comment "Gee D, you have both of your men here." After college I tried to get her a job for the conventions with the network I was going to. Everything was all lined up, and she wanted some confirmation, so I gave her a number to call. She called and didn't ask for the right person, so the person she talked to had no idea what she was talking about. That was pretty much the last straw. She thought that I was putting her on with all of this. Needless to say, she didn't go and I ended up looking like a fool to my new employer.

While in college, V was pretty much an ass. He was always putting people down, and really was the one who propagated the rumors about D. He had dated a girl we'll call L. I accidentally? slept with L one night while in college. After that, he started telling people that I was the one who was saying D was a lesbian.

Some soap opera, huh? It's only beginning.

S and F began dating at some point. They met through me. As it turns out, S had been cheating on me with F. She had gone down to NC to be with him for a weekend while we were dating. I'm glad I was trying to do the right thing and not cheat on S with D. F and I have a lot of mutual friends. Surprisingly I wasn't invited to their wedding. I was however invited to an after party in a hotel room at the wedding hotel. As I'm walking in the lobby, who do I see at the registration desk but the happy couple. When another friend got married and S and F found out that I was going, S decided not to go, that F would go alone because it might be a little weird. They now have 2 kids.

D and V are also married to each other now. When I found out they were dating, and then married, I lost a lot of respect for her. She knew all the things that he was saying about her, and hated him for it. To me, she had compromised her principles. I'm not just saying this because I was obsessed with her, but because the D that I knew wouldn't have done that. Perhaps V has changed. I'm sure that he's a wonderful husband, and now wonderful father. I wish nothing but the best to them, but I no longer hold her in such high regards.

For the finale. Both F and V have found me on Facebook. Last night I received an invitation from F to join him and S and V and D for dinner. Talk about awkward.... Now V doesn't really know about S, and I don't know how much D does. F and S definitely don't know about my history with D. The Lady in Red has told me that I need to bring a REALLY hot date.

A weekend party

This past weekend I went out to Pittsburgh to attend a 40th birthday party for a friend from there. This party had been planned for a while, and C offered to let me stay with her. For those of you unfamiliar with C, you can read what I previously wrote about her here. C currently has a serious boyfriend, but she assured me that her beau was OK with me staying with her. She had asked him, and he did say yes it was ok for me to stay there. She and I were both under the impression that he was going to be staying over as well. I wanted to make sure it was ok, becuase there are hotels there, and I easily could have stayed at them, and she made that point to him as well.

One problem I have with the whole thing is that C hasn't been 100% honest with the new bf about she and I. She apparently has always been very vague when talking about our history, and he may not know that we lived together at all, let alone that we lived together for almost 2 1/2 years. I'm not a big fan of the omission, but I'm not going to be the one to tell him. She obviously has her reasons, and while I may not agree with them, I respect it. I was worried that while at the party, there would be people who knew she and I as a couple and would say something that the new bf didn't know.

I arrived on Friday evening, and we enjoyed dinner at Max and Erma's. They have Ultimate Nachos back on the menu, so it was a guilty little pleasure for her. It was odd to be back in the house I previously lived in. I of course was in the guest room this time. On Saturday, C and I went out and ran errands needed for the party. Vince, the person who the party was for needed some help putting the last minute things together. C had asked Vince on multiple occasions if he needed help with anything and he said no, no, he'd take care of everything. On Saturday morning, she got the call asking if she could pick up beer (4 cases, and he wanted them all cold), and well he needed coolers for them and of course ice. Additionally, C had to drop off a cooler in a neighboring town that was left over from last weekend.

The last time C and I had a party, the picture to the left was the aftermath. It was a mild New Year's eve, and we had all the beer in a keg tub in ice on the deck. New Year's Day was really cold, and froze the water, and then it snowed on top of it. Eventually the keg tub broke, and what was left was beer trapped in solid ice. For months.

We went about the errands, and ended up at Horse Trading Days in Zelienople, PA. C loving the carnies as she does, we had to stop. We stopped for lunch and made it to the beer distributor and back to her house. Apparently at some point, the plan changed from her boyfriend meeting us at her house at 2pm to meeting us at 3pm. We went, dropped off the beer and everything else at Vince's house and went back to her house to get ready for the party and meet up with her boyfriend. We caught up on a lot of things while we were out, and she told me that the bf is moving in to the house in 2 weeks. She also hasn't told her parents about that yet. It won't be a problem with them since they like him. I think they like him more than they liked me. He mom didn't like me because of my job. That was a big sticking point with her. He's a hunter, so her dad likes him.

While I was in the shower, today's plan changed, and the bf was going to be taking a friend with him and just meeting us there. He wouldn't be staying the night either as was the original plan. He had to go help clean up the farm that he hunts on in the winter. This REALLY pissed her off. They had made plans, and he wasn't keeping them. She was getting blown off for hunting preparations, not even hunting. As she said, at least when I had to cancel plans for work, it was for work, not for fun. Also, Vince called and needed three more things for the party. This of course required us to stop at 3 different stores, and in-efficiency can really piss her off.

We ended up showing up around 4:30 or 4:45pm. Conveniently, the new boyfriend showed up at the same time. We managed to get all of the introductions out of the way outside the party. It was fine for me, and C said for her as well. I know the one or two times I've been in a similar situation as C was in (two people who have seen me naked, and knowing that fact meeting) it was a little uncomfortable for me. This wasn't the first time that I met one of her boyfriends since we broke up. I was fine with it. I honestly don't think that he was, but he also wasn't saying anything.

Treading into dangerous territory here, I was suprised when I met the bf. He was a CWB like she tends to date (Chubby White Boy), but he was very quiet. Again, I don't know if that was because I was there, or if that's his normal behavior. His friend was very likable and outgoing. He was very conversational. I would have guessed that she would have been with the friend, and not with the bf.

Also at the party was a friend of C's from around college who we'll call Frau and her husband. (They didn't go to college together, but went to Germany together in college and are still friends) Frau doesn't like me. She like most of the world finds it odd that C and I are still friends. She doesn't think that it's right and will remind C of that every chance she gets. Frau felt that I wasn't good for C. She felt that our relationship, when we were together, was damaging to C. Frau has really had one adult relationship. She married the guy. He seems nice and all, but I really think she needs to have experienced more, or at least TALKED to me more before passing judgement. All I've ever wanted is what is best for C, I guess Frau doesn't realize that.

Anyway, enough with that. All in all, I had a good time this weekend. I got to see Vince who I hadn't seen in ages, and go to a weekend party, which I haven't been able to go to in ages because of my schedule. One thing that I forgot about living out there is how clear the skies are and how many stars you can see. Here, where I live, we get a scattering of them. The lights from the city drown them out. Up there they don't believe in street lights, so you can see EVERYTHING.

I'm sure I forgot something, but that'll have to do for now.

Update on the Knee

I went to the Dr. on Friday and found about my knee. I've been going to this doctor for a long time for various orthopedic things. When I move I snap, crackle and pop from all my joints. This doctor has told me that I am going to have a painful old age because of this. After he looked at X-rays and manipulated my knee, he asks me if I remember when he told me that I'm going to have a painful old age. I said yes, and he said, well apparently it starts now.

What I had was an arthritic flare up. The thinking is that between being on my feet for the previous week and the large pressure change that happened (along with the increased humidity), it caused the arthritis that is in my knee to bother me. The truth is, once I started moving it, it didn't feel that bad. After I stopped moving it for a while, it hurt again. This was a preview for the rest of my life apparently.

What a mess

For the past week, I've been working a job in the New York metro area. It's been a long time since I've actually worked and commuted to and from my home. We were working long hours as usual and I was taking the subway to and from the site, so it wasn't uncommon for me to get home after 4am and leave shortly after 7am. It was really odd for me since I'm used to staying in hotels when I work. I didn't have anyone to make the bed or freshen the towels. As a result of that week and my sheer laziness, the picture to the right is the result. Now, I'm cleaning my living room so it at least looks respectable when I come back next week. Think I have enough empty water bottles and glasses here?




On a totally unrelated subject, I made it to my first party that my building has sponsored since I've lived here. They had a party to celebrate the fact that they got new rooftop patio furniture. They had pretty good catering, champagne, wine and a guitar player. I actually met some of my neighbors for the first time as well. The property manager commented on the fact that I am the longest term resident here, and this was the first party that I'd made it to. I think a good time was had by all, and it was nice to meet some of the other people who live in the building. Maybe I'll actually have friends here now. Oh yeah, the new furniture is really nice too.