Awkward to say the least

Before reading, you'll want to sit down. I'd say get a beverage as well, but if you know any of the details, you might end up doing a spittake.

As any faithful reader knows, I caved 2 weeks ago and joined Facebook. In those 2 weeks, I've amassed well over 100 friends on there and have reconnected with a lot of old friends from high school and college. Facebook has taken more time out of my day, but since I'm currently un-employed (by choice) I do have a lot of free time on my hands.

I've accepted just about every friend request on Facebook. Even the one from the friend from college who married my girlfriend who was from home. Yes they met through me. I'm fairly confident that she cheated on me with him. I also accepted the friend request from the friend from college who married the girl that I was only slightly obsessed with. In fact, they're both mentioned in this previous post.

It has been very interesting to see who knows who on Facebook. A friend of mine from College was friends with a girl I knew through my friend Kristen. That freaked me out a bit. As it turns out they both worked for the same television network for a while in politics.

Now, some background. After high school, I met S who was 2 years older than I, but had gone to the same high school. She was very nice, attractive, and we seemed to hit it off. We dated for a year anda half or 2 years and had a good time. I was away at college most of the time, and she was at home. During that period of time, I became friends with F. F was generally known as a womanizer and really only had the requirement of a heartbeat in order to be interested in a girl. My best friend K was looking for someone one summer, and she didn't have the most discriminating tastes, so I set her up with F. I should mention that K and S knew each other from high school and pretty much hated each other. On their third date, F told K that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I think it was all she could do not to laugh. F was 2 years older, and took a job in North Carolina after college.

While away at college, I became very friendly with a girl D. She was amazing. Beautiful, smart, assertive, and very unassuming. She and I would talk for hours about anything and everything. During this time, S and I were growing further and further apart. This may sound like a line, but she wasn't intellectually stimulating me. D was able to do that. During this time, NOTHING ever happened between D and I other than me giving her a head rub while watching TV at her house once. I was very adamant that I didn't want to cheat on S. I also thought that it would be rude to break up with S on the phone.

I had a plan. Thanksgiving was coming, and I was going home. I'd break up in person with S, and that would open the door for things to happen with D, and I'd have a clear conscience. To give you an idea of where D and I were - we had already named our children. SO, I go home, and break up with S. It was one of the most awful things I've done, but it was needed. As luck would have it, D was giving me a ride back to college after break. I go up to her house, and sense that something isn't quite right. She wasn't behaving like herself.

The ride back to college was about 3 1/2 hours. During that 3 1/2 hours, we barely spoke. We were able to speak for hours just a few days before and now nothing. I remember vividly as we were driving, the CD was ejected, and there was blaring static on the radio. She then went and explained that her father wasn't happy that she was spending all this time with a boy (me) and the he said she needed to concentrate on her studies and finding a job, and that she didn't have time for me.

That really hurt. I had broken up with S, which was needed, but was now alone. I was still mesmerized by D however. I thought that it was stupid for her father to say that, and even dumber for her to follow that advice since there was obviously something between us. There was always rumor that D was a lesbian, but I knew that wasn't true. That was mainly circulated by a guy we'll call V. I honored D's request and stopped talking to her. We'd see each other occasionally in the hallway and there was tension there. Being the mid 90's (1995 I think), I did what anyone would do. I sent her an email telling her how I felt about her and that it wasn't that easy for me to just let go.

I learned a VERY valuable lesson that day. E-mail can be very impersonal and can be very easily misconstrued. Inflections, connotations, etc are all interpreted by the reader, if at all. I got a VERY curt email back from her "If you have something to say to me, say it in person" and with that, our love-hate relationship began. I'm not good at being hated. I've always tried to get everyone to like me. D and I had reason to interact for Extra-curricular activities, (get your minds out of the gutter) and it was awkward at best. We'd be sitting at a round table, and she had a co-worker with her, and we'd end up talking to him, and not to each other across the table.

With time, things started to soften. On Valentines Day, I thought that I'd make a peace offering and give her a dozen white roses. Everyone I knew (including her roommates who liked me) thought this would be a good idea. As it turns out, it pissed her off a little because I gave them to her in front of a friend of mine who she had turned her interests to (I guess dad's talk had worn off).

Eventually, she saw what I was trying to do, and we became friendly again. At this point I knew that I wasn't returning to college (she was a senior) and I became an unofficial senior if you would. During the last week, there is a tradition of getting drunk and jumping in the fountains. She partook, (as did the friend of mine who she turned her interests to) and everyone was having a great time. We were walking away, and one of her roommates made the comment "Gee D, you have both of your men here." After college I tried to get her a job for the conventions with the network I was going to. Everything was all lined up, and she wanted some confirmation, so I gave her a number to call. She called and didn't ask for the right person, so the person she talked to had no idea what she was talking about. That was pretty much the last straw. She thought that I was putting her on with all of this. Needless to say, she didn't go and I ended up looking like a fool to my new employer.

While in college, V was pretty much an ass. He was always putting people down, and really was the one who propagated the rumors about D. He had dated a girl we'll call L. I accidentally? slept with L one night while in college. After that, he started telling people that I was the one who was saying D was a lesbian.

Some soap opera, huh? It's only beginning.

S and F began dating at some point. They met through me. As it turns out, S had been cheating on me with F. She had gone down to NC to be with him for a weekend while we were dating. I'm glad I was trying to do the right thing and not cheat on S with D. F and I have a lot of mutual friends. Surprisingly I wasn't invited to their wedding. I was however invited to an after party in a hotel room at the wedding hotel. As I'm walking in the lobby, who do I see at the registration desk but the happy couple. When another friend got married and S and F found out that I was going, S decided not to go, that F would go alone because it might be a little weird. They now have 2 kids.

D and V are also married to each other now. When I found out they were dating, and then married, I lost a lot of respect for her. She knew all the things that he was saying about her, and hated him for it. To me, she had compromised her principles. I'm not just saying this because I was obsessed with her, but because the D that I knew wouldn't have done that. Perhaps V has changed. I'm sure that he's a wonderful husband, and now wonderful father. I wish nothing but the best to them, but I no longer hold her in such high regards.

For the finale. Both F and V have found me on Facebook. Last night I received an invitation from F to join him and S and V and D for dinner. Talk about awkward.... Now V doesn't really know about S, and I don't know how much D does. F and S definitely don't know about my history with D. The Lady in Red has told me that I need to bring a REALLY hot date.