All of this has caused me to think...

First an update- Shrek is doing better. He had an angioplasty and that showed no blockages. His potassium levels are starting to rise finally and he should be out of the hospital soon, and back to work in a week or two. If it's much longer than that I don't know if I'll be there.

All of this with Shrek has caused me to think. He's not healthy. I see that this lifestyle of travel, long hours and late night meals really takes a toll on someone physically, emotionally and mentally. I realize that I still have time before I am fully immersed to the point of No Return. I may be only a few days away from it, but I can still get out. With that in mind, I've attached a copy of a letter I sent to the owner of my company.



I've not been happy lately. I've not been having fun lately. Seeing -name deleted- go to the hospital last week was really the last piece of the puzzle for me. It is with great sadness that I tell you that after 8 years, it is time for me to move on. With your permission, I'll stay on through the end of the NASCAR season, which should give the company time to find and train someone on the truck.

I appreciate all the opportunities I have had here over the past 8 years, but I don't think that there is anywhere for me to go with company name deleted. In order to be happy, and to give me an opportunity to get healthy, I need to come off the road. I am of no use to the company if I am not out on the road. Over the past few years, I think others have made this realization themselves, and took the opportunity to take a job with you that doesn't involve travelling. I don't see any more of these positions open.

The newsletter you sent out detailing how we can save money on health insurance bills by being more healthy showed that you may be slightly out of touch with our reality on the road. When exactly are we supposed to do all of that? It says that a key to being healthy is to establish a regular routine. It says another key to being healthy is to get regular copious amounts of sleep. I'm sorry, but that's just not possible in my current position. I have started in the past 4 months making a concerted effort to get in better shape. I can do a great job of it when I am home. On the road, it would entail going to the gym either at 4am before our 5:30am call, or at 9pm after we get back to the hotel. Doing either of those prevents regular sleep.

You will respond that I am well compensated for these sacrifices, and you are correct. I do have a handsome salary, but money can not buy happiness. When you stop and think about it though, what is my rate? I did rough math for the work that I actually did between November 1, 2007 and March 31, 2008 and my hourly rate ends up somewhere near 40.00/hour. That would make me the lowest paid person on the crew.

Add to all of the above the constant questioning and interference from the office and I've had enough. I know that everyone is well meaning and is "just trying to do their job", but guess what, so am I. I know what is best for us out here. I know how to keep track of items coming in and out. Some of my recent dealings with getting items repaired from the shop show me that they don't. I don't like being accused of losing something or hoarding something. I don't like having to go through steps to prove that we don't have something, despite what office personnel say. I dislike even more having emails sent out to the whole company saying that we've lost something that we in fact haven't. What is even more frustrating is that when it is found in the shop, all we get is a phone call saying that the office found it. No apology, nothing. This happens repeatedly and at some point, you'd think they'd realize that 95% of the time, we're right. When I first started working here, as a company we were the best at what we did. Now, we have the best trucks out there, but that may soon fall by the wayside if something is not done with the office staff.

I am not sure what I am going to do in the future. I do not have anything lined up at this point. I know that if I want to have a sense of normalcy in my life, I need to make this change. I shouldn't be feeling the way I do physically as a 32 year old. It shouldn't take me 3 months to get over a cold. I am getting too run down, and I need to change that before it gets to be too late. I saw my future last week, and I don't want to be taken away from work in an ambulance in away from home.

Sincerely,