Alone...

This is a reply of mine to a friends post elsewhere. Eventually I ended up meeting up with some people I work with in the hotel bar, but the feelings are the same.

As you know, I too was working/traveling over Thanksgiving. I was alone in a hotel bar while texting. I have many of the same thoughts as you in terms of being alone on holidays. I've been recently traumatized I think by a friend of mine from HS having a baby, and realizing that she has grown up. I can no longer call her any night and say lets meet for a drink. Her husband was always ok with that, but now with the baby, it's going to be harder.

I have very few friends here at home now. All of my friends, and more appropriately acquaintances live all over the country. I think in the past I have over used the word friend and made it in my mind synonymous with acquaintance. I'm not quite sure when it started. I used to be the person who kept in touch with everyone, who stayed friends with everyone. Now, I'm always the one on the outside looking in. I'm just not there enough to count it seems.

I'm not quite sure how to change this. While it sucks, it's also kind of comfortable. No expectations. At some point I'll pull out of it, but I'm honestly not sure. Hang in there, people will show up. They always do. Just make sure that when they do show up, you do as well.