Once again, I realize that I'm spoiled

I've figured out one thing that I'm going to do with my time off over the summer. I'm going to rebuild the deck at my sisters house, and build the deck that my parents have always wanted to have at their house down the shore. Neither one of these projects should be too bad to complete.

I consider myself to be pretty savvy when it comes to these types of things, but I wanted some insurance. I've seen a book on building decks before, and I wanted to go ahead and get it just so I can make sure that I get everything done properly. It never hurts to have a little help. I'm currently outside what I consider to be a fairly large city, and went to a Barnes and Noble. You can't even imagine how disappointed I was in my trip there.

First, they didn't have the book I wanted. In fact, the really didn't really have any book that would have satisfied what I was looking for in terms of a deck building reference. Second, I was looking for some other books, current affairs and political science type, and they had NOTHING I was interested in. If it hadn't been released in the past month, they didn't have it. Very disappointing. I'm used to walking into 2 story Barnes and Noble's that are fully stocked and never leave you wanting more. I go to those stores by me, and people are sitting comfortably, scattered through out the store reading. Here, it was like the store was an old pharmacy that they squeezed a Barnes and Noble in.

OMG

I've been chilling most of the week basking in the sunshine and beautiful weather. Yesterday, when I came back from the gym, I quickly checked email (I haven't been doing that much this week) and found the following from an acquaintance from when I lived in Pittsburgh.

Strange question.

Would you be willing to be the father of my baby? lol

No seriously, I have been thinking this through and I'm turning 32 this year and having a bit of a "I'm getting to old" crisis! I want to have a baby in the next two years, except I'm not even dating anyone!

I don't know if you would or not, but you were top on my list! I wouldn't require and monetary funds or make you actually be the father if you didn't want to. I just need sperm!

I know this sounds rediculous, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

Call me xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Before I continue, some background information. When I moved to Pittsburgh in 2000, I moved into an apartment by myself. This person worked in the leasing office. Apparently she had a big crush on me then. I'd find that out a few years later when I was told that she was devastated when C went in to pick up the keys that I left for her when she was moving in with me. She apparently didn't think that I had a girlfriend, although everyone else in the office knew that I did. I have not seen this person in well over a year. I don't think that I've talked to her in over that same year. When I was in Pittsburgh for work 18 months ago, I met up with her and bunch of other friends from my time there for a few drinks.

You can imagine that when I first read this email I was thinking wtf? I didn't quite know what to say or how to take this. I guess that I should be flattered to think that I'm on the top of her list. Also, what in the hell is she thinking? She's NOT EVEN 32 yet, and she's worried about having a baby. I know that it's different for guys and girls, but let's get serious for a minute.

IF I was going to do this, I couldn't NOT be involved. It's not the way that I am. I couldn't just be a sperm donor, especially with someone I know. I have too many friends that are in a similar situation where they either had an absentee father growing up or the father of their child isn't really around. I can't imagine what that would be like. My parents both worked, and would travel some, but they were there. I don't know what it would be like to be a single parent, or a child of a single parent. More importantly, I don't know how someone can bring a child into this world, and willingly have nothing to do with the child. Unfortunately, I know someone who was in that situation as well.

Knowing her, she's not looking for my sperm for in-vitro. That would cost too much money. She'd actually be looking to do the deed until she got pregnant. At that point it's not really donating sperm, it's being a lover. That I'm not into.

There's one more thing as well. I don't know that I can actually have kids after the surgery I had last year. One of the possible side effects was possible sterilization. I've never had that checked out as I haven't had a reason to. This doesn't give me a reason to, but just something to think about. Before I had the surgery, I was given the option to freeze sperm in case I became sterile. I did not. My thinking at the time was that if I was in a relationship where I wanted to have kids and I could not, we could always adopt. If I did get to to the point in a relationship where we were talking marriage, my partner by that time would know that this is a possibility. I would get tested and know ahead of time if I might have a problem having children, and let my partner know. Interestingly enough, I started to have some pain there again yesterday, something I haven't had in a few months. It's not really discomfort either, it's pain. I put a call into the Doctor this morning, and I'm waiting to hear back. Hopefully it's nothing major.

As far as this situation, I am going to talk to her, and explain to her that I just can't do it, and explain to her that she does still have time. I know that being a mother of your own child can be important to a woman. There are pleny of children out there, babies even looking for a good home. If she is interested in being a mother, and she doesn't find a guy, she can always adopt a child.

Anyone have any thoughts?

WaHoo!

I've just had my 1000th view of my blog...

Oops, my bad...

It's been a long time since I've blogged, but that's not because I don't have anything to say. I apologize to those who check every day to see what witty words I have chosen to express my thoughts, my feelings and the goings on in my life. Today I took advantage of my 53 minute flight to get them written down so I can share with you what's been going on the past few weeks, and get some things of my chest. How am I able to do this you ask? Those of you who know me know I almost always have a notebook on me. This allows me to jot down the little things that piss me off, or that need to get done. It's a joke around my job that if I don't write it in my book, it's probably not going to get done because I suffer from CRS. However, with one little note, it'll jog my memory, and I won't forget a thing. I'm breaking them up into different entries however since they are all totally different, but tangentially related. Most of these are related to my trip to my parents a few weeks back.

I hope that I don't go this long without posting anything again, but no promises. If it does happen though, I'll make sure that you get a full refund.

An annoyance...

While I was down at my parents a few weeks ago, one of my duties was to help my father buy a new HDTV and set it up, along with a media center that they purchased. I had helped with (OK, I did) the layout of the room in terms of what type of furniture and where it would go. I am very good at spatial relations and figuring out what will fit where and look and flow well on paper, and it translates into actual spaces well.

Because of my job, I can be a good person in picking out televisions as well. I went with my father, and we had decided on a particular set. They had it for a good price at Circuit City, which is around 40 miles one way from where they live. There was also a local store that sells the same brands, and we'd thought that we'd stop there before going all the way up to the Circuit City (after going to Comcast to pick up an HDTV Cable box).

We stop in, and they offer to match the price that we had from Circuit City. They then go and look, and they don't have it in stock, and claim that Circuit City wouldn't either (I actually had called Circuit City, and they did have it in stock, or so they claimed). They offered a good deal on a comparable set, although a different make. After looking at the specs of the TV and seeing the picture in person, it would definitely do for my parents purposes. We took it.

I do like the idea of buying local for several reasons. First, if something goes wrong, they're right there, not 40 miles away. Second it keeps money in the local area. It helps the local economy. Lord knows the economy, local, national needs as much help as it can get right now. Thirdly, the guy was truly a nice guy. He didn't try and over sell us, he didn't try to BS me (and I never actually said what it is that I do for a living), and was knowledgeable. I tell the guy that I'd probably be back the next day (Saturday) to buy a Blu-Ray DVD player and an HDMI switching A/V Receiver. That's about 1,000.00 worth of additional sales. The reason I didn't buy them at that time was that I didn't know what the media center my parents had bought looked like, so I didn't know how much space I had to deal with.

The next day comes along, and I put the media center together (minus the hutch part because it would have been too big). I have some other things to do -- move one TV to another room, take another one out totally, remove an old entertainment center, move all the furniture in the living room to where it is supposed to be now that the final piece is in -- but still intend on going to the store to finish up the entertainment center project. I look in their ad to verify their hours, and they were open daily 10am-7pm. It was around 5pm, and the store was about 15 minutes away, so I decide to take a shower and change since I'm all smelly from all the work that had been done that day.

I leave my parents house all clean and fresh at 5:35, stop to get fuel because my tank is almost empty, and go directly to the store. I get there at 6:08pm, and something seems wrong. Every light is out. I walk up and the door is locked. They have no hours visibly posted on the outside. I look back at the ad, and sure enough, it says open until 7pm daily. At this point, I am thoroughly annoyed. They're closed, and the only other place that I can get what I need is 40 miles away. If they had closed at 6pm, I wouldn't have showered, I just would have went there, but their own advertisement said they were open until 7pm.

Because I'm a spiteful bastard, I did not go back to this store on Sunday. I drove the 40 +miles one way up to the Circuit City and spent my 968.00 there. I have also written a letter to the store informing them of this, and included a copy of the receipt to Circuit City so they can see that I was truly willing to spend the money, and that they lost out on a sale, and quite honestly, probably a lot of my future business because of that.

My parents are now styling with a Blu-Ray DVD player (something even I don't have), nice 7.1 surround sound and a 47" 1080p LCD HDTV. Oh yeah, and a Wii.

Fuel prices are out of control.

I'm a very lucky person. I don't have to actually pay for gas that often. I mean I'm not the person that in the long run pays the bill. When I'm traveling for work, I fill up all the time, but it goes on a company card, and I'm not the one who actually has to pay for it. When I'm home, 90% of what I need to do can be easily accomplished with mass transportation or by walking. I'm definitely not opposed to either of those options. I'd say about another 5% of my travel is under 5 miles, mainly because I don't want to/can't carry whatever it is that I'm buying. The remaining 5% are longer trips that happen a few times a year. Did I mention that I drive my own car less than 3,000 miles annually?

I've known that gas prices have been on the rise. But again, when on the road, I don't really pay attention to what I'm paying for gas. So long as I get a receipt, I'm happy. A few weeks back, I had to play the role of the good son and visit my parents who live about 150 miles away. There were some chores that needed to be done, and some things that I couldn't in good conscience allow them to do themselves. I filled up my gas tank on Monday and paid 3.09/gallon. I live in New Jersey. that was sky high. I don't think I've ever seen gas over 3.00 in my home state before in my life. It cost me over 60.00 to fill up my 22 gallon tank. (Yes, I was nearly on Empty....) When I first got my car (August 4th, 1998) I could easily fill up my tank for 20.00. Every once in a while, I'd splurge and put the good stuff in and it might cost 25.00 to fill up.

So I drove down to my parents that Friday morning. I notice that gas has gone up to 3.17 in most places, including on the Turnpike. I found it amazing that it would go up 8 cents in 4 days. When I'm down the shore, I notice the prices are even HIGHER. On friday night, the Wa-Wa's went from 3.17 to 3.21. On Saturday they went 3.21 to 3.29. I filled up my tank on Saturday as it was nearly empty -- more on this later. On Sunday they went from 3.29 to 331. Fourteen cents in 3 days. Are they out of their mind?

I knew NJ has some screwy gas laws. For example, we can't be trusted to pump our own gas. We have to full service. It comes in handy in the rain or the bitter cold, but most of the time it's an annoyance. Secondly, gas stations can only raise their prices once a day. There is one exception to this law that I found out that weekend -- The Gas stations on the Turnpike and Parkway can only raise their prices once per week, on Fridays. So while everyone else is selling gas at 3.31, the Parkway and Turnpike stations are selling for 3.17 still. That's good to know. The following Friday, when they raised prices, they went to 3.39. Most others were at 3.37 then. As I'm writing this, the NJ average price is 3.43. NJ also has some of the lowest prices in the nation.....

To get to my point in all of this, I now finally understand WHY this is such a big deal. I don't live like most Americans. I live in an urban area where I don't rely on a car. Staying down at my parents for the weekend, I had to drive 25 miles round trip to get to a Home Depot. I had to drive 89 miles round trip to go to a Best Buy. THAT is where the price of gas, I think, really affects us as Americans. When it starts costing more money to do everyday shopping trips, it hurts. For the record, I spent over $180.00 in fuel that weekend, and yes, I did fill up on the Parkway where the price was still 3.17. I'm not stupid.

That week I went to Alabama for work, and ironically enough on Earth Day received a Suburban as a rental car. It makes sense because we're able to take one car instead of multiple cars. It was a 68 mile drive, one way into work every day, plus any additional errand runnings. In that week, I spent $266.21 for fuel for my rental car for work. Something needs to be done about this. If oil companies are making the record profits, no one has to question why that is....

I'm a Sap

For about the first 2 1/2 hours of my flight today, I was like waterworks. A tear would escape my eye every so often pretty much from the beginning of the movie. What was showing? PS I Love You. I hadn't seen it before and I didn't know the story going into it. I'll get more into the story of the movie in a little bit, but first another reason it set me off. If you haven't seen the movie, and don't want it spoiled, stop reading now.

The character Gerard Butler plays is named Gerry Kennedy. Gerry dies very early in the movie of a brain tumor. This reminded me of Gerry Coffey, a former bartender at the Grasshopper who died much too young of a sudden brain tumor. Gerry Coffey passed away about 10 years ago now. Sadly, I don't remember the day, let alone the year anymore. Back in the good old days, Gerry and Murph (Mike Murphy) could be found tending bar at the hopper. Shelia would work during the day and on Sunday nights, and Timmy would fill in here and there. No one had a bad word to say about Gerry. When he did pass away, a fund raiser was held at the grasshopper to help pay part of the medical bills and to help the family out. His widow ended up moving back to Ireland to be with family. I truly miss Gerry. And Murph (Murph moved back to Ireland about a year later, although I did see him briefly at Timmy's wedding- on a side note, what does it say when you are invited to your bartender's wedding?)

In addition to missing the people, I miss that time. I had friends then. It's not that I don't have friends now, but things have changed. We've all gotten older. Things are more complicated. People are married. People have kids. We can't stay out and party all the time. I guess you could say I never really took full advantage of that time, and I want it back.

Back to the movie- there are many times throughout the movie where I would well up. What Gerry (the character) was able to bring to Holly beyond the grave was amazing. That he thought to do that was brilliant. That she followed the letters was great and a tribute to their love. What disturbs me is that I don't have anyone in my life who would care enough about me to write the letters if they were in a similar situation, nor do I have someone to write the letters to if something were to happen to me.

I have some good friends, but no true loves right now, and I don't know that I ever did. To go back to the grasshopper, I remember when I found out that Timmy was getting married. I was living with C at the time, and I asked him how did he know that she (Lea, his wife) was the one. He answered very succinctly, in perhaps the best bartender wisdom I've ever heard "If you have to ask, she's not the one." I cared about C very deeply then, but I realized right then that it probably wasn't going to happen (never mind any of the other issues).

When I do pass on, I hope to have a service similar to Gerry Kennedy's in the movie. It was held at a bar, and everyone, including the minister, did a shot individually as a toast to his life. I've always admired the Irish I've met. They ALWAYS know how to have a good time. They know to celebrate while mourning. Go the Grasshopper on a Sunday night. ANY Sunday night and the Bergen and Hudson Country Irish are there well represented, dressed up having a good time in a traditional Seisun.

Needless to say, the movie was a tearjerker, and reminded me of a happier, younger time in my life.